You don’t know me

I have been MIA for that last couple days. I have had a sick girl. She had Hand foot and mouth disease that she caught from her cousin last weekend. She has been miserable so there had been a lot of cuddles for mommy. 

I also have had insomnia the past few night and it has me thing of ultimate goal out of life.

I could from a small town where if you don’t end up working at the hospital or in the coal mines there isn’t much out there. I have all my life pondered on what I could do to be successful and live here at the same time. I don’t want to leave because my parents are aging and I need to be here to help them in any way possible. There’s one thing in my life I had always said that I wanted to do. Only two people in this entire world besides me knows this secret. Well until now I guess. I am a bookworm. I love reading. I could get through the thickest books in no time. 

My favorites include Gone with The Wind, The Help, and any thing Nichols Sparks (what can I say, I am a hopeless romantic). There have been times were I would read a book and think “I can totally write something better” Thats it’s, my secret is I aspire to be a writer! 

I want to write something and have people read it and when they close the cover they are so emotionally attached to the characters and the story that they just sit there in silence thinking about what just happen. I want to make people feel what I feel when I finish a good book. Sometimes it is warm and fuzzy and happiness and then of course there are times I can’t see because I am sobbing so hard. 

A few nights ago this idea hit me like a ton of bricks. It was past 3am and I had to be up at 6 to get ready for work, but it didn’t matter. I sat there typing feverishly onto my cellphone. These words and character poured out from my mind. Where they came from, I have no idea. But I knew I have to get in down. 

This has happen to me several times. I have atleast ten documents on my laptop. Unfinished of course, but they are there. These ideas of stories of people (fictional people of course) that it’s seems like the world needs to know their stories. 

There is one about an abusive relationship.  There’s one that would be classified as YA. The one from the other night is still developing in my mind. 

I want to write and I want to be published and I want to show up and my high school reunion and have people be in total shock when I tell them what I do for a living. 

I want to do it. I’m confident that my stories will be solid enough, if I can finish them that is. 

Now you know me. My deepest goal in life has been laid out.

Eye Opener!

So I am on lunch at work and I am going through my emails on my phone, just quickly glancing and deleting. Glance, delete, glance, delete. And then all of a sudden this one email literally jumped out and slapped me across the face! 

A few months back, maybe even a year ago, I signed up to receive a bible verse a day. In all honesty, don’t always read them. I am an email hoarder and there are days I will sit and purge over a hundred emails a day. Well today I opened this daily email and actually read it. 

It didn’t take a second to know that this particular verse is totally about me. Here it is. 


I, unfortunately, do the polar opposite of this. I complain, I bicker and argue AT EVERYTHING! 

Why? What is it going to do for me? What do I benefit from it? Nothing at all. And it also has me thinking about what it says about me and what people think when they hear me. 

Honestly, I am embarrassed. I complain at work over everything and I couldn’t begin to imagine what my co-workers think! 

So my goal from today on is to tone it down! To chill out. Because if I don’t my child is going to grow up listening to me and learning to be the same way! I don’t want to do that to her. Because kids are always watching and listening to their parents! 

School is now in session! 

Recently, several school districts have returned and the big yellow bus it now running around the same time my husband and I leave for work.

Thinking into the future, my daughter will occupy those bus seats as soon as what could be next fall and her day will be filled with going from class go class and learning all they have to offer. But will she be ready to go? 

I am not a stay at home mom although I wish I could have been. I feel if given the chance, I would have had more to offer as a mom. Sure, Daddy and I both try to teach her things. As of right now she is not very verbal so it is hard to know what exactly she is retaining. To us, she is very intelligent, but isn’t every child to their parent? 

I fear that when the time comes that she will be behind the other children. I try to read to her little silly books that rhyme. Books about hair, books about princesses and everything in between. We count to three and recite our ABCs. But is that enough to prepare?

Next fall she will be old enough to start preschool. Whether or not she will go is a different story. I am told they base admittance on a few different factors, one being your income. I have a hard time understanding what the relation of your yearly income and your toddler beginning school. 

I suppose these should be worries for another day considering we still have a full year to go. I just can’t imagine my little chubby cheek, gap toothed baby going to school.

Easy Like a Sunday Morning

Here it is Sunday Morning once again and let me tell you they are anything but easy here. Let me start by saying that my husband and I are both Christian’s. Whether you are or not you may still be able to relate to my Sunday mess.

Sunday’s I wake up after gripping onto the edge of the bed all night because my toddler, who I co-sleep with, has tried to push me into the floor all night. I get up and my back aches and I can barely hold my eyes open.

Sunday’s, all I want to do is rest. I have been on the go all week. Between going to work and picking up our daughter, going back and forth to the store and to the gas station and where ever I end up needing to go that week. I am tired and I just want to hang out on my couch while my husband watches football and my kid plays with her toys all over every inch of my living room floor. I don’t want to go any where, because I know what looms tomorrow and for the next six days.

So what about Church? This is what my problem is, my husband he wakes up and he always says, “Let’s go to church.” And I know in my heart I should get everyone into our Sunday bests, hair fixed and shoes shined. But this is my internal battle.

Every time we go, I feel as if I am being judged and I do not mean by the Lord. I feel like the whole congregation is looking at us. Judging us because we where not present last week, or because my hair is in a pony tail and I am barely wearing make up because I have had to chase a two year old up and down the hallway trying to get her clothes on. I am wearing flip flops because my other dress shoe decided to run away to some unknown land.

Maybe it is a part of my anxiety or because I am a woman and women judge all of the other women in the world. Or it could be because my husband grew up in this church and I did not.

I suppose what I am trying to get from telling you all this is Sunday’s are not easy for me. I fight myself trying to make a decision that shouldn’t be that hard to make. So if you are the praying kind, maybe whisper a prayer for me.

Domain Name Goof

So I purchased my first Domain name and lo and behold it has a typ0!! Instead of reading books pural it is book. How upsetting! Is there anyone out there that knows if I can have it fixed? I have emailed WordPress and am still awaiting a response.

10 Facts About Mommyreadsbooks

10 THINGS ABOUT ME!

Hopefully when I actually obtain followers I will be able to get to know all of you as well!

 

  1. My name is Laura and I am 25 years old.
  2. I live in rural Eastern Kentucky.
  3. My husband and I married on July 26th 2013, but we have been together since July 10th 2007.
  4. Our daughter was born 7 weeks premature at 33 weeks. That was a major awakening in my life and I am sure this is something I will be blogging about in the future so get ready!
  5. I work full time at our local hospital.
  6. Any and all spare time that I have is spend with my daughter, reading anything I can get my hands on, or obsessively watching a new (or old) T.V. series on Netflix.
  7. My husband who is almost 27 years old, was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and Cardiomyopathy in June of this year.He is currently wearing a Life Vest until the doctors decide if he will need to have a defibrillator placed. (Also a topic I will be blogging about, along with heart healthy recipes and things of that nature)
  8. I cuss a little, I seriously try my best but sometimes it just comes out. If it doesn’t, I am still most likely thinking it!
  9. Up until recently I had been trying to lose weight and maintain a healthy diet. Since Bryant got sick I have somewhat fell off the wagon. And if anything that should have motivated me to try harder!
  10. I have depression and anxiety. I have had it all my life, but just recently was medicated for it. It was either that or I was seriously going to loose my mind.

 

First blog post

INTRODUCTION

Hi all! This is my very first post and I am really excited to get started blogging and sharing my life with everyone!

I was motivated to begin this journey by realizing “Holy crap, I have a lot to say!” But I didn’t know who or where I could share my thoughts. Last night I created a twitter account and realized 140 characters is not going to do my wild life justice, so here I go!