I know that I am a new blogger, so I know there are a lot of things that you don’t know about me.I am a sinner. We all are of course, but I think I am the worst kind. Hypocritical even.
You see, three years ago on August 4th 2013, I was baptized. I accepted the Lord into my heart and my life. My husband did the same, we were very newly married. We became members of the church that he had grow up in. I, myself, did not really grow up in a church. I went a few times here and there with my grandmother, but my parents did not and still do not go.
At first, things were great. We went on Sunday mornings and I went to bible study on Wednesday evenings.In my car, I would listen to Christian radio and sermons.I was living life right. I was doing really good, trying to learn and read the bible. But then things began to change. I had given birth to my 3 pound miracle and we missed quite a bit of church because I was “that” mom. The one that isolated her family to keep the germs away from her newborn preemies lungs.
Once we did return to services, I usually was rocking the unwashed pony tail and flip flops look. We would walk in and I would feel their eyes on me. I would be tired from staying up all night because the little princess had colic for the first five months of her life. The bags under my eyes were gigantic. I would barely get foundation on my face to hide them. My toenail paint was chipped away, I only got five minutes to myself I usually used that time to shower. So you can imagine what a sight I was walking into the church and add in post partum depression and I was a hot mess.
I felt that they were looking at me and saying “Oh wow, she looks horrible” “can you believe she wore that” “it looks like she hasn’t washed her hair in weeks” “They have missed the last ten sundays, why are they even here”. I felt judged. I felt unwanted and poor.
I was a new Christian, I still am. I wasn’t involve in church activities, I wasn’t asked to be. I began making up excused not to attend services until eventually we stopped going all together. We would make an appearence here and there, but the majority of the time we did not go.
Within this time, I began into my old ways. Gossiping at work, making fun of people, being just as judgemet to people as I thought they were to me. Cussing. The whole nine yards. I fell back down the rabbit hole.
I still believe in Christ. The fire still burns inside of me, but its more toward the back burner now. I feel guilty. I want to live like Jesus. I want to follow his words. I want to be involved in missonary work. I want to belong to a church were I will meet new people and feel like they want me there. I want to do Christ like things. I want to be someone that a nonbeliever looks at and say “Man, there is a light shining from her”
I had been feeling that maybe in my town there is another church that would accept me and help mold me into a real Christian. A good one, not a hypocrite.
So, in the past there was a lady at work that had invited myself and a friend to her church. I had somewhat told her about my past church experience and told her that I have heard about her church. They are doing great things in this town. She invited us, but the invitation fell on deaf ears at that time. Well, Wednesday at work she came over to us and she ask if we had gave any thought on joining her for a church service. She handed us each a card that says “Impact Sunday”.
She told us that this Sunday, they are wanting to make impacts on peoples lives. People like me. I felt convicted. God seems to be telling me in my heart that I need to go. Being the anixous person that I am, I began to do research. I know a lot of people that belong to that perticular church, so I began Facebook snooping to kind of get the feel of what I will be walking into on Sunday. The church also has a Facebook, as well as an app and an old youtube channel. I have started listening to past sermons. This church is nondemoniational and I am not really familiar with what type of preaching they do so I was curious.
I listened to the past two Sundays sermons and I learnt something. In my county, there are 44,391 people from the 2010 cenus that state they do not go to church. Both of the last sermons talk about this and how strange it was that it ends with a one. The purpose of this “Impact Sunday” is to reach out to one person in your life. One person you want to save and want join you in heaven. I began thinking “Wow, out of all the people this lady must know, she asked me to join her” It makes me feel special to know that she wants to help me.
Tomorrow is the big day. Impact Sunday and it happens to be 2 days after my birthday (yes my birthday was yesterday) and it is also Septemeber 11th. I can’t wait to go. I hope and I pray that this will end up being my families new church home. If you want to pray for me, I would greatly appericate that.