Review: Silenced by Leddy Harper

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Pages: 303

Published: February 21st 2017

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Goodreads | Amazon

Goodreads Summary: As a young child, Killian Foster survives the unimaginable. Silenced and scarred, he keeps to himself, spending his time with his notebook in the woods behind his aunt’s house.

Until Rylee Anderson…

When Rylee spots Killian hopping over a fence next door, she follows him, unprepared for the boy she’d find—or the relationship that would unfold over the next seven years.

Or the silence that would follow.

Fighting between the hate of his past and the promise of his future, Killian must make choices—ones that would affect more than himself. Choices that would test the lines of right and wrong. Decisions that could break the bond of the only love Killian knew.

Hate or love.
Revenge or forgiveness.
Silence or his voice.

My Rating: 5 Moon and Stars 

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Leddy Harper is a genius. Absolutely, no questions asked genius. This story will break your heart multiple times and put it all back together.

Killian Foster has a photographic memory. So when his parent were murdered when he was just 8 years old, he remembers every detail. The date, the time, the sound of screaming. He remembers the look on his parents faces, his dads shirt that should be white, but it is red. And most importantly he remembers the killers and what they threatened to do to him if he talked…So he didn’t, but he will never forget what happen as he wears the scars inside and out.

Moving in with his Aunt Elise turns out to be the best thing to happen to him. Not only does he has someone who loves him and cares for him. he meets Rylee. Rylee Anderson is the little girl next door who doesn’t care if Killian can’t talk or looks different than everyone else, she just wants a friend.

This book tells the story of these two growing up and then apart and then back together. It is one you should be sure not to miss because it is such a beautiful story. Check it out you won’t regret it.

 

2017 UPDATE

We are officially on the 15th day of 2017. 2016 was a rough year to say the least. Bryant’s diagnosis was a hard-hitting moment about halfway through the year.

He had surgery on December 9th to place a defibrillator and his heart doctors are not releasing him to go back to work. They both say that the low ejection fraction of his heart and the weakness he feels from the condition and the medication he has to take, that he is no longer able to work.

With that being said we are now a one income family until he gets approved for disability. They say it can take anywhere between 1 month to maybe 6 months for the first time. If he isn’t approved we then have to get a lawyer…like we have money for that.

We are also now a one CAR family because we can not pay both payments with my little income. So we are starting 2017 off on a tight budget. If anyone knows how to coupon or save money, please feel free to message me or comment because I need help.

My child is talking up a storm. I worried for the longest time if there wasn’t something wrong with her because she wasn’t talking like other kids her age. Just as how I worried about her not walking and everything else. The thing with kids, I have learned is, they will do everything on THEIR time. Not when other kids do it or when a book says they will do it. Whenever they are ready, the are ready.

She is loving her library school class. Now that Daddy isn’t working, he has been going with us to class and she loves having him there and so does Mommy.

In the reading side of things, I have placed my goal at 200 books this year. Currently I have read 13!

 

I am thinking about beginning to write. I have this crazy dream of being a writer. To write someone who people will read and have to close the book and stare off into space to comprehend the awe that was my book. Hey, a girl can dream right?

 

Anixety/Depression and the whole shebang.

Anxiety and depression is no joke! Having both, it is like living in a cave. I just recently crossed over to the medicated side of life and honestly you don’t realize how bad off you were until you are medicated.

Before, I did not realize how depressed I was. When my doctor asked me if I had depression, I told her “I don’t think so” and boy I was in denial. Today my husband commented on how happy I seemed. I truly am. I feel like my life is finally MY life. I am not hiding any more.

I have came across people who say they don’t believe that anxiety and depression is real. They say that people only want attention. Let me tell you, I want anything but attention. I just want to live my life to the fullest. I hate that I let it go as far as I did.

It was so bad that I would be on lunch at work, in my car having a panic attack. It felt like I had a ton of bricks just sitting on my lungs. Trying to go back inside of the building after an hour and pretending everything was well was not an easy task.

As a child, I remember having panic attacks and having high anxiety about social interactions. However, the depression, didn’t hit until I had post partum depression. I remember how happy with life I was prior to having PPD and then after it was a turning point of sorts.

Once my husband became sick and was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, that’s when I knew I had to get help. Everything hit me all at once and the stress of his illness, work, and motherhood was just too much to bear.

If you are suffering, please know that you are not alone in this. There are millions of people just like you, that are most likely hiding the fact they are going through this internal battle. Also, there is help out there and it is okay to have to go to that. If you are truly suffering, trust me, it will change your life!

 

 

Uncovering the truth

I know that I am a new blogger, so I know there are a lot of things that you don’t know about me.I am a sinner. We all are of course, but I think I am the worst kind. Hypocritical even.

You see, three years ago on August 4th 2013, I was baptized. I accepted the Lord into my heart and my life. My husband did the same, we were very newly married. We became members of the church that he had grow up in. I, myself, did not really grow up in a church. I went a few times here and there with my grandmother, but my parents did not and still do not go.

At first, things were great. We went on Sunday mornings and I went to bible study on Wednesday evenings.In my car, I would listen to Christian radio and sermons.I was living life right. I was doing really good, trying to learn and read the bible. But then things began to change. I had given birth to my 3 pound miracle and we missed quite a bit of church because I was “that” mom. The one that isolated her family to keep the germs away from her newborn preemies lungs.

Once we did return to services, I usually was rocking the unwashed pony tail and flip flops look. We would walk in and I would feel their eyes on me. I would be tired from staying up all night because the little princess had colic for the first five months of her life. The bags under my eyes were gigantic. I would barely get foundation on my face to hide them. My toenail paint was chipped away, I only got five minutes to myself I usually used that time to shower. So you can imagine what a sight I was walking into the church and add in post partum depression and I was a hot mess.

I felt that they were looking at me and saying “Oh wow, she looks horrible” “can you believe she wore that” “it looks like she hasn’t washed her hair in weeks” “They have missed the last ten sundays, why are they even here”. I felt judged. I felt unwanted and poor.

I was a new Christian, I still am. I wasn’t involve in church activities, I wasn’t asked to be. I began making up excused not to attend services until eventually we stopped going all together. We would make an appearence here and there, but the majority of the time we did not go.

Within this time, I began into my old ways. Gossiping at work, making fun of people, being just as judgemet to people as I thought they were to me. Cussing. The whole nine yards. I fell back down the rabbit hole.

I still believe in Christ. The fire still burns inside of me, but its more toward the back burner now. I feel guilty. I want to live like Jesus. I want to follow his words. I want to be involved in missonary work. I want to belong to a church were I will meet new people and feel like they want me there. I want to do Christ like things. I want to be someone that a nonbeliever looks at and say “Man, there is a light shining from her”

I had been feeling that maybe in my town there is another church that would accept me and help mold me into a real Christian. A good one, not a hypocrite.

So, in the past there was a lady at work that had invited myself and a friend to her church. I had somewhat told her about my past church experience and told her that I have heard about her church. They are doing great things in this town. She invited us, but the invitation fell on deaf ears at that time.  Well, Wednesday at work she came over to us and she ask if we had gave any thought on joining her for a church service. She handed us each a card that says “Impact Sunday”.

She told us that this Sunday, they are wanting to make impacts on peoples lives. People like me. I felt convicted. God seems to be telling me in my heart that I need to go. Being the anixous person that I am, I began to do research. I know a lot of people that belong to that perticular church, so I began Facebook snooping to kind of get the feel of what I will be walking into on Sunday. The church also has a Facebook, as well as an app and an old youtube channel. I have started listening to past sermons. This church is nondemoniational and I am not really familiar with what type of preaching they do so I was curious.

I listened to the past two Sundays sermons and I learnt something. In my county, there are 44,391 people from the 2010 cenus that state they do not go to church. Both of the last sermons talk about this and how strange it was that it ends with a one. The purpose of this “Impact Sunday” is to reach out to one person in your life. One person you want to save and want join you in heaven. I began thinking “Wow, out of all the people this lady must know, she asked me to join her” It makes me feel special to know that she wants to help me.

Tomorrow is the big day. Impact Sunday and it happens to be 2 days after my birthday (yes my birthday was yesterday) and it is also Septemeber 11th. I can’t wait to go. I hope and I pray that this will end up being my families new church home. If you want to pray for me, I would greatly appericate that.