When I Was Yours by Samantha Towle

When I Was Yours by Samantha Towle

Genre: Contemporary, New Adult

Pages: 347

Links: Amazon | Goodreads | Barnes & Noble

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Goodreads Summary: “Marry me.”
“What?” I stared back at him, unblinking.
He moved closer, taking my face in his hands. “I love you, Evie. I look into the future, and the only thing I see clearly is you. Marry me.”

What’s an eighteen-year-old girl who was madly in love with her nineteen-year-old boyfriend say?

Of course, I said yes.

Twenty-four hours later, I married Adam Gunner at a Vegas chapel to the sounds of “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. Not the best omen. I get that now.

Then, exactly one week later, I left him. I walked out, leaving behind my wedding ring, annulment papers, and my heart, and he never knew why.

I haven’t seen him since. Not in ten long years.

Now, he’s here, standing before me. Looking at me with nothing but hurt and hatred in his eyes, he wants answers.

Answers I can’t give.

My Review: When I Was Yours is the second book out of the three I have read this weekend that has torn me apart. This book was full of heartache and pain.

Adam spent a full week just watching Evie as she drew on a large rock on the beach outside of his home. A full week it took him to build up the courage to even speak to her. But when he did, it changed his life forever.

Evie and Adam spent full year together having fun in love and then they got married and a week later Evie was gone with no reason. She vanished. Not even a PI could track her down and Adam was left with ten years of pain and questioning. And now she’s back, working at a coffee shop inside of the hotel Adam is living in and he wants answers.

I gave it a four instead of a five because it was predictable, but I still really enjoyed it and felt the angst and tension. The author did a really good job at constructing the characters.

I am not sure if I have ever read anything by this author before because I am so bad at keeping up with the authors because I read so much, but I am definitely going to look for more from her.

A Shade of Vampire Book One 

A Shade of Vampire By Bella Forrest. 

A couple days ago, I ran across this book on my Facebook. I saw it and though, “it’s been a really long time since I have read a vampire book, so why not?”, and I bought the first book. 

Sofia Claremont’s seventeenth birthday was not like any normal teenagers birthday. She was walking along the beaches of Cancun alone. Her best friend had totally ditched her and she was so heart broken, even after his attempt to apologize. When out of the dark of night, she is grabbed and whisked away from the beach into The Shade. 

She is chosen among four other young girls just like her to be a part of a harem for Derek Novak. 

Derek is a Vampire who has been in a deep sleep for I think it was 400 years. The ladies chosen were to be his salves or dinner. 

Once he awakens and sees Sofia for the first time he is immediately attracted to her realizes there is something different about her. He takes her as his personal salve and makes her go home with him. 

I don’t want to give away to many spoilers, but in the very main beginning, before her abduction, Sofia has a panic attack and we learn she suffers from Anxiety. However, when all of this is going on at the Shade, she seems very calm. 

It was confusing for the author to just switch the characters like that. Going from panic attacks at a football game to a strong woman who isn’t even that terrified of a Vampire. 

I did go on and read book two. This is a huge series but the story of Sofia and Derek only goes to book seven I believe. But once you finish book two and follow into with three, you start to see how it will unfold. 

It’s a lot like Twight and even if you are familiar with The Shadow Hunters, it reminds me of that also. 

I am conflicted as to if I should complete at least the seven books about Derek and Sofia or not. I will let you know if I do. 

To Vlog or not to Vlog

I have been having an internal debate over Vlogging. 

I would like to do my book review portion a little differently. My one issue is my very Country accent. 

I have a very nasally Southern voice and people can be so mean, I am not sure I can handle the torment. 😂😂

I am going to sleep on it and decide officially tomorrow! 

Digital Book VS Actual Book?

I have been an avid reader since my childhood. I remember going to the library and picking out Judy Blume and other various children’s book. Of course, that was in the 90s when people actually read hardback/paperback books.

Today, children have always had technology. Thus the debate, digital book or actual book?

I discovered digital books in 2010, when I obtained my own Kindle from Amazon. It went with me to work, on trips, to college, everywhere. Since, I have preferred reading from some sort of device, whether it be Kindle or the Kindle or iBooks app on my cell phone.unnamed

I am sure a lot of the Bookish population of the world just gasped. A lot of people are saying “How can you say you a book lover when you don’t read actual books?”

My opinion is that digital is just so much easier to carry! I mean, I always have my cellphone, therefore, I will never be without something to read. With an actual books, you will forget at home or in your car and then how will you know if Kiera is going to finally break up with Denny for Kellan?

Convenience is the key! I even read the bible on my phone. It’s the same concept. Why would I want to lug around an actual Bible when I can get it pulled up on my phone with a few touches of your fingers.

What about you? Are you a book person or a digital book person?

Coal Country over NYC

Before I tell you where I am going, let me tell you where I am. Every one knows all about The Big Apple, but do you know about Pike County, Kentucky?

Pike County, Kentucky is the east most county in the state. We boarder both West Virginia and Virginia and  are nestled in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains.There are about 65,000 people in this town so we are still large enough to were you don’t know everyone, but you feel like you do.

If by chance you have heard about my small town, the words redneck, hillbilly, Mountain Dew mouth and coal probably run through you mind. I have to say, I have been from here to Phoenix Arizona and I have discovered that it seems like redneck, hillbilly and bad teeth are not just in our little town, but every where. We have a bad name, but don’t judge it until you have been here and lived to tell about it.

Coal is a big deal in this area. It is what we are known for and it’s how a lot of us make a living. In recent years, a lot of mining companies have closed down the shafts. Closing down the mines are literally turning towns like mine into ghost towns. I mean you have to go where the work is.

I am not familiar about other places, but Pike County is rising up. We have built shopping centers and restaurants to bring jobs, as well as currently we are in the process of building a ophthalmology school and a distillery to bring more people and jobs back into our town.

Today, there is always something fun to do. Friday nights bring Main Street Live, which is where local bands come out and play right on Main Street. Once a month, in the warmer months, there is a car show, drag races and burn out. Also, we have the Expo Center, that holds concerts, shows and events.

Growing up, I felt trapped here. I was busting at the seams. I couldn’t wait until I could make the first break across the county lines into a larger city such as Lexington. But now, as an adult, I know I could never call any other place, “home”.

I love this town. The majority of my family lives within the county. Not to mention this place is beautiful. You can look out any window and see the Appalachian Mountains. It is safe and it gives me so much pride to say “I’m from Pikeville, Kentucky”.

 

Welcome September

September has arrived folks. You know what that means right? Pumpkin flavored everything has probably already hit the shelves. Also September brings my birthday, but this year I am not going to age just eat cake :). I am ready for fall. This year is going to be very exciting because this year I get to travel with my mommy friend’s to New York City and I will see the leaves in Central Park at their most beautiful fall state.

The ‘Ber months have always been a favorite. Once they hit the calendar, the holidays are just right around the corner. Just this morning my husband and I were discussing what we as a family should be for Halloween. And you know not long after Halloween, Thankgiving comes and then of course Christmas and New Year. All of that means a lot of good eating to me.

September is also NICU Awareness Month and as I told you before my daughter was a NICU baby. She was born at 33 weeks and weighted 3 lbs 7.2 oz and she was 17 inches long. I suffered from Pre-eclampsia, which also caused me to have IGUR, which stands for Inter Uterine Growth Restriction pretty much that meant my uterus was unable to grow any more therefor restricting the baby’s growth.

The birth of my daughter was not a happy occasion as it is for most mothers. I didn’t get to have her vaginally, which may not mean much to a lot to you, but it does to me. I also did not get to hold her, to see my husband cut the cord. I didn’t get to experience that first glance when they hold the baby up and then place it on your chest. Heck, I didn’t even get to capture a picture of my daughter and myself together until later.

She was born and rushed off to the NICU where she was put on oxygen and under a heat lamp to help her maintain her body temperature.

Now, believe it or not, I had never once thought about the possibility of her coming early. We did not have the room ready, we did not have a car seat. And as bad off as I was I never once worried about myself it was all about her. I worried about her being in the NICU alone, I worried if she was being held when she cried. It truly broke my heart that I was not able to be the first person to hold her.

This month is suppose to bring awareness the NICU. A lot of people don’t realize how important it is for a hospital to have one. The hospital I delivered at had a really great NICU with a staff that cared for our family. My husband and I could stay as long as we liked, unless it was shift change or they were getting a new intake. We were able to feed her and hold her, change her diapers and we even were able to get her a sponge bath a few times as well.

I was able to pump breast milk for her and they would feed her my milk when it was feeding time. There were times I was depressed and I felt like that was the only thing I could really do as her mother, was to provide her with milk that was working on the inside to make her grow.

I promise that there will come a post later on that will have more detail about my birthing experience and also my experience as a parent of a premature baby, but it is way past my bedtime. I will leave you with a photo that a group on Facebook designed for me. The baby in the background is actually my daughter about three days after she was born.

Good night all.brylynn

 

 

You don’t know me

I have been MIA for that last couple days. I have had a sick girl. She had Hand foot and mouth disease that she caught from her cousin last weekend. She has been miserable so there had been a lot of cuddles for mommy. 

I also have had insomnia the past few night and it has me thing of ultimate goal out of life.

I could from a small town where if you don’t end up working at the hospital or in the coal mines there isn’t much out there. I have all my life pondered on what I could do to be successful and live here at the same time. I don’t want to leave because my parents are aging and I need to be here to help them in any way possible. There’s one thing in my life I had always said that I wanted to do. Only two people in this entire world besides me knows this secret. Well until now I guess. I am a bookworm. I love reading. I could get through the thickest books in no time. 

My favorites include Gone with The Wind, The Help, and any thing Nichols Sparks (what can I say, I am a hopeless romantic). There have been times were I would read a book and think “I can totally write something better” Thats it’s, my secret is I aspire to be a writer! 

I want to write something and have people read it and when they close the cover they are so emotionally attached to the characters and the story that they just sit there in silence thinking about what just happen. I want to make people feel what I feel when I finish a good book. Sometimes it is warm and fuzzy and happiness and then of course there are times I can’t see because I am sobbing so hard. 

A few nights ago this idea hit me like a ton of bricks. It was past 3am and I had to be up at 6 to get ready for work, but it didn’t matter. I sat there typing feverishly onto my cellphone. These words and character poured out from my mind. Where they came from, I have no idea. But I knew I have to get in down. 

This has happen to me several times. I have atleast ten documents on my laptop. Unfinished of course, but they are there. These ideas of stories of people (fictional people of course) that it’s seems like the world needs to know their stories. 

There is one about an abusive relationship.  There’s one that would be classified as YA. The one from the other night is still developing in my mind. 

I want to write and I want to be published and I want to show up and my high school reunion and have people be in total shock when I tell them what I do for a living. 

I want to do it. I’m confident that my stories will be solid enough, if I can finish them that is. 

Now you know me. My deepest goal in life has been laid out.

Eye Opener!

So I am on lunch at work and I am going through my emails on my phone, just quickly glancing and deleting. Glance, delete, glance, delete. And then all of a sudden this one email literally jumped out and slapped me across the face! 

A few months back, maybe even a year ago, I signed up to receive a bible verse a day. In all honesty, don’t always read them. I am an email hoarder and there are days I will sit and purge over a hundred emails a day. Well today I opened this daily email and actually read it. 

It didn’t take a second to know that this particular verse is totally about me. Here it is. 


I, unfortunately, do the polar opposite of this. I complain, I bicker and argue AT EVERYTHING! 

Why? What is it going to do for me? What do I benefit from it? Nothing at all. And it also has me thinking about what it says about me and what people think when they hear me. 

Honestly, I am embarrassed. I complain at work over everything and I couldn’t begin to imagine what my co-workers think! 

So my goal from today on is to tone it down! To chill out. Because if I don’t my child is going to grow up listening to me and learning to be the same way! I don’t want to do that to her. Because kids are always watching and listening to their parents! 

School is now in session! 

Recently, several school districts have returned and the big yellow bus it now running around the same time my husband and I leave for work.

Thinking into the future, my daughter will occupy those bus seats as soon as what could be next fall and her day will be filled with going from class go class and learning all they have to offer. But will she be ready to go? 

I am not a stay at home mom although I wish I could have been. I feel if given the chance, I would have had more to offer as a mom. Sure, Daddy and I both try to teach her things. As of right now she is not very verbal so it is hard to know what exactly she is retaining. To us, she is very intelligent, but isn’t every child to their parent? 

I fear that when the time comes that she will be behind the other children. I try to read to her little silly books that rhyme. Books about hair, books about princesses and everything in between. We count to three and recite our ABCs. But is that enough to prepare?

Next fall she will be old enough to start preschool. Whether or not she will go is a different story. I am told they base admittance on a few different factors, one being your income. I have a hard time understanding what the relation of your yearly income and your toddler beginning school. 

I suppose these should be worries for another day considering we still have a full year to go. I just can’t imagine my little chubby cheek, gap toothed baby going to school.